THE ACQUAINTANCE RAPE
The Victim- According to available statistics, women and children are the primary victims of rape. However, as societal attitudes regarding sexual violence change, more men and boys have come forward as survivors of sexual assault. National figures show 1 in 3 females and 1 in 5 males will be sexually victimized before the age of 187. Acquaintance rape victims are most often between the ages of 15-24.
The Rapist- Many people imagine the rapist as a psychotic stranger who jumps out of a dark alley. In fact, statistics have shown that approximately 80% of all rapes are committed by someone the victim’s knows. Typically
the rapist is an acquaintance, a friend, classmate, boyfriend, or ex-boyfriend.
How and Where- Generally rape happens in a place where the victim feels safe. More than one-half of all rapes are committed in the victim or assailant’s home. Acquaintance/date rapes are
not likely to involve lethal weapons. Instead, deception, date rate drugs, verbal pressure or threats and physical force may be used to intimidate and overpower a victim.
Sex is consent between partners. If one does not consent, it’s rape.
Contributing factors can be:
Drugs and Alcohol- Oftentimes, drugs and alcohol are involved in sexual assaults. These substances can increase your vulnerability. Sexual
assailants may take advantage of someone who has been drinking alcohol or using drugs recreationally.
Media Messages- Media often links sex and violence. Pornography, rock videos, movies, and television often depict men using violent force against women.
Advertisements frequently portray women as sexual objects.
Sex Role Stereotypes- Many believe males are expected to assume the dominant role in relationships; female a passive role.
Be Alert To:
The acquaintance that makes you feel uncomfortable. This may include touching, staring, sitting or standing too close, or not accepting your sexual boundaries.
Alcohol or to the drugs which may make it difficult for you to be in control, increasing your vulnerability.
No one has the right to verbally pressure or physically force you into sexual activity even if:
1. You’ve agreed to sexual activity and then changed your mind.
2. You have “flirted”
3. The offender has spent money on you.
4. You are dressed sensually.
5. You are high on alcohol or any other drug.
6. The offender says he/she is turned on and can’t stop.
7. You’ve had consensual sex before.
Where you live-
Keep all entrances well lit and locked at all times.
Windows should be locked and covered by curtains and blinds
Always identify who is knocking before opening the door.
If it is an unexpected service person, ask for identification.
Keep emergency telephone numbers near your phone.
· Travel with a friend, especially at night
· Try to avoid poorly lit, isolated places (e.g. parking garages, deserted laundry rooms or basements)
· If you feel you are being followed, try to get to a safe, well lit, populate place and call for help.
· Trust your instincts! Scream and run if you sense danger.
· Never hitchhike or pick up hitchhikers.
· If your car breaks down, be wary of those who offer help; ask them to contact the police.
· Before getting in you car, check the back seat where an attacker may hide.
· Keep doors locked when parked and driving.
· Select a well lit spot when you park the cart. Check for
loiterers before leaving your car.
· If you think a car is following you, drive to a spot where there are people and sound the horn until help
comes.
Research has indicated that sexual assault is not limited to urban campuses. Rape happens at both large cite and small town colleges, and at public and private institutions.
College campuses where many female undergraduates live alone or with other women, are vulnerable sites. Remember most rapist happen in the victim or assailant’s residence.
Though statistically less frequent than single offender attacks, reports of campus “gang rapes” appear to be increasing. These attacks by multiple offenders are of particular concern as they
are more likely to involve a high level of violence.
Sexual assaults on college campuses are sometimes associates with all-male associations, such as fraternities and athletic teams. Many foster an environment that is conducive to sexual victimization. Fraternities
and teams may evoke an environment of violence and competition where sex is used as a means to control, degrade or “score”. Heavy alcohol consumption and drug use increases the risk of sexual assault.
The consequences of campus rape can be devastating. Many who have been victimized find themselves unable to continue their studies. They may become withdrawn and have difficulty resuming their usual social activities. Some withdraw from school temporarily or
permanently.
Statistics show that freshman females are at highest risk. Parties, alcohol and drugs, new people and situations and an unfamiliar environment all contribute to increased vulnerability. Freshman females may be specifically targeted by offenders.
Rape survivors assaulted under the influence of a sedating substance may have additional issues that are likely to affect their recovery- issues often involving their inability to recall the incident. Not being able to remember what happened may create tremendous anxiety and exacerbate the loss of control that most survivors feel.
Sedating drugs include: Gamma hydroxybutyrate (GHB), Flunitrazepan (Rohypnol), Ketamine (Special K), and Gamma Butyolactone (GBL). /sedating drugs can
inhibit a person’s ability to remain awake and conscious, cause sudden and unexpected drowsiness and trouble with motor coordination. A drugged person may exhibit impaired judgement, lack of inhibition, dizziness and confusion. The effects can be similar to that of a general anesthetic causing a “blackout.”
Some of the drugs are odorless, colorless and tasteless. They can be put into a glass of water, soda and/or an alcoholic beverage. A person need not leave a beverage unattended for a long period of time. Drugs can be dropped into a drink in a split second.
If you or a friend feel dizzy, confused or have other sudden, unexplained symptoms after drinking a beverage, it may mean that the drink has been drugged. If you suspect there is a problem, address
it. Trust your instincts. If you suspect the presence of sedating substances it is important to receive medical attention as quickly as possible. Do not leave a friend that may have
been drugged alone. Alone or mixed with alcohol, date rape drugs can also cause potentially serious medial problems or death. The best protection can be alert friends.
· Get to a safe place.
· Call a crisis center for support, information and referrals.
· Get immediate medical attention.
· Don’t shower, bathe, douche, change your clothes, eat drink, smoke or urinate if you are considering
reporting to the law enforcement.
IF SOMEONE YOU KNOW IS RAPED, YOU CAN HELP BY:
1. Providing comfort and a safe place to stay.
2. Reassuring the survivor that he/she is not to blame and did nothing to provoke the attack.
3. Encouraging the survivor to get medical attention.
4. Helping the survivor explore options, but letting him/her make decisions as to what is best. (e.g. contacting the police and family
members).
5. Reminding the survivor that he/she handled the situation correctly; she/he is alive
If you are sexually assaulted, it is extremely important to receive medical attention as soon as possible. Advocates from a Rape Crisis Center are available 24 hours a day/7 days a week to accompany survivors as they await and undergo treatment.
Sexual Transmitted Disease/Infections-Medical attention is necessary in order to be tested for and receive preventive medications for sexually transmitted diseases or infections. Medications
must be taken within 72 hours of the attack. If untreated, sexually transmitted diseases or infections may result in serious medical problems.
Pregnancy- treatment to prevent unwanted pregnancy is available within 72 hours of the attack.
HIV/AIDS-If the person who assaulted you does not have HIV in his/her body, it is impossible for you to get the HIV virus from the offender. If the person who assaulted you has the HIV
virus, there is a slight possibility that you will contract the HIV virus because of the rape.
Sexual assault cases are often overseen by investigators in a special Sex Crime Unit. If local law enforcement receives a report of a sex crime, they are required to contact this special unity. Sexual assault is considered a crime against the laws of the state. Therefore, you do not need to retain you own attorney. An attorney from the prosecutor’s office will be assigned the case. You are considered a witness for the state. The crime must be reported in the country where the assault occurred.
You may substantiate another survivor’s report and help in that survivor’s prosecution of the rapist.
You may be eligible for financial compensation provided by the Victims of Crimes Compensation Board. (Individual states may vary).
The prosecutor decides whether or not to proceed with the case. This may depend on the Prosecutor’s view of how good the chance is of convincing the suspect with the available evidence.
The legal process often takes many to several years to be completed.
Rape is a major crisis that can disrupt many aspects of one’s life (physical, emotional, social, and sexual). Survivors of this crime consistently describe certain symptoms or reactions that have been identified, studied and referred to as Rape Trauma Syndrome.
Following a rape, one may have feelings of fear, guilt, anxiety, helplessness, depression, isolation and anger. Physical symptoms may also arise which include eating or sleeping problems. These are normal reactions.
Anger- “I feel so angry.” “I want to kill him/her.”
Fear- I’m afraid to be alone.” I’m afraid of men/women, crowds, night…”
Helplessness- “I feel my life is out of control.” I can’t make decisions.” “I can’t concentrate.”
Isolation- “I feel different and all alone.” “I feel I can’t trust people.” I’ve lost
interest in sex.” “I don’t want to be close to or touched by anyone.”
Depression- “I have crying spells.” “I feel so tired and hopeless.”
Often survivors of acquaintance/date rape don’t realize that the rapist alone is responsible for the rape. Sometimes, they confuse submission, out of fear or guilt, with consent. Survivors may be reluctant to admit that they’ve been raped, feeling guilty or embarrassed if rules were broken (e.g. curfew, hitchhiking), if alcohol or drugs were involved, or if there had been some consenting sexual behavior prior to the rape. Being raped by someone you know is not just rough sex or seduction, it’s rape.
Bergen County Rape Crisis Center